Better Than Ambien

Boring.

Incredibly, utterly, boring. 

The guy in front of me was asleep after an hour.  There were three other people in his group, two of which were also asleep after an hour.  The guy to my right, nodded off after an hour.  The guy to my left, nodded off after an hour and a half.  Me?  I was almost out at an hour, but had to force myself to stay awake to see it through.  The rest of the audience?  Mostly asleep as well…

And I saw a 4pm showing, if that tells you anything.

The film is about the coming-into-office Bush, and basically starts with him impressing a bunch of fraternity brothers and then we see him getting out of college, and going on to become the president who ruined the country.  The problem is that we already know the story.  And the stuff we didn’t know, the stuff that would have been much more interesting, was only glossed over in five minute intervals.  There’s no achievement filmmaking here.  Oliver Stone has accomplished nothing, at all, except to merely tell the tale we already know. 

Was it a comedy?  I have no idea.  I didn’t laugh, and the stuff people were chuckling at frightened me.  Dick Cheney (Richard Dreyfuss) is, honestly, made out to be a Sith Lord.  His depiction in the film is as if he controls Bush, but Bush knows it and doesn’t like it.  Colin Powell is made out to be a military genius/saint who is the ‘all-knowing’ standout for actually wanting to invade Iraq.  Rumsfeld is made out to be a mentally handicapped Sith Lord.  And Condoleezza Rice is depicted as a biblical, fearsome witch with fangs.  And these are not exaggerations.  In fact, the only person who comes out clean in this is W. himself.  Which is so very, very odd.  The entire film seems to suggest that Bush is nothing more than a puppet, taking advice and making decisions through his lackeys, and worse, that they’re the ones to blame.  For everything.

It’s so surreal.  I’m not a political person, by any stretch of the imagination, however, I just can’t get over how our president ends up being depicted as the person who essentially had nothing to do with ruining out country.  It’s as if Oliver Stone makes him out to be a total idiot, who made none of his own decisions, and was only interested in getting the approval of his father.  Okay, even if that’s the case, does that really warrant making a movie about it?  And if so, what in the world is supposed to be entertaining about watching it unfold?

Sadly, all the actors did a tremendous job, especially both Josh Brolin as W., and Dreyfuss.  I was expecting Dreyfuss to eat a puppy any time he occupied the screen.  And Brolin’s impression is so dead on that it’s creepy.  There’s only one scene I could think of where he comes out of character; the rest of the time he is Bush.  One hundred percent.

It’s hard to say that the directing was good, when the movie was so boring, but it really was solid.  There were great, somewhat confusing, transitions between the past and present, each giving an interesting look at the history of Bush.  The film was perfectly grainy at times and the shadowing/lighting effects were very enthralling.  But, again, what’s the point in saying these things were any good, when nothing of the story is enough to intrigue you to actually pay attention?

I was twenty years old when Bush was elected to office and as such, the eight years of his reign have essentially been the years I spent becoming a man.  It’s sad to think that I will probably remember these past eight years more than any to come, and it’s even sadder that a movie was made that glosses over them.  These years have been the most atrocious in American history, and creating a film which details the events is honestly just a bore.  We had to live them.  And I’m sure that many of us wish we didn’t.  Why would we want to relive them?

That being said, I won’t be surprised to see Brolin up for an Oscar nomination.  I can’t think of too many other performances this year that were quite as transforming as this.  

Convoluted Political Satire

War, Inc is the kind of movie that will be appreciated in the future, rather than in the now.  It takes a much needed look at the way our world operates, and makes light of it.  A lot of the humor is dead on the money, however, with the situation that the United States has been in for the last eight years, it’s hard to determine if now is the right time to laugh.

John Cusack plays Brand Hauser, a government-hired assassin/fixer.  Hauser is used to taking orders and making things come out clean in the end.  Essentially, the story revolves around the country Turaqistan, where war has become commercial.  The first ‘sponsored’ war is set to take place and Cusack has been assigned to make sure things go off without a hitch.  There’s a confusing story in here involving Hilary Duff as Yonica Babyyeah, but, in all honesty, I was a bit confused as to what purpose her role actually served. 

In fact, as ‘smart’ as the film was, I had to wonder what point it all really served.  There have certainly been funnier satires about the political state of the world (Idiocracy) and there have certainly been more entertaining looks at our sad, pathetic, political state (Wag the Dog, Primary Colors).  So, honestly, why do we need War, Inc?  I’m just not sure…

Cusack’s performance is quite good here, especially compared to his last venture (Martian Child), where he appeared to be phoning it in.  This is the Cusack we enjoy, and although he might not be nearly as alive as he was in High Fidelity, he certainly scores close to his Grosse Pointe Blank performance.  And really, when it comes to Cusack, that’s all we’re hoping for; a return to the good old days.

Hilary Duff is, as usual, a complete waste here.  For the entire first third of the movie, I actually thought she was one of the Olsen twins.  And that’s not a compliment.  Marisa Tomei is certainly worthless here, which is surprising as her turn last year on Rescue Me showed a lot of promise.  It’s sad to see such a talented actress simply stop trying.  Dan Aykroyd is, as always, Dan Aykroyd.  And to anyone who is a fan, that should simply be enough.  It’s nice to see him and Cusack reteam, even if it is for brief amounts of time.  They clearly understand one another’s method and style, and it’s a shame they don’t do more together.

This is director Joshua Seftel’s first major film and style-wise, he’s got it where it counts.  His sense of comedy could use some work, but his overall judge of what makes a scene work is very strong, even if his comedic timing throughout seemed short-sided.  This is the first script for Mark Leyner and while he does a good job, again it seems to slightly fail when it comes to satire.  We get that it’s satire, but we don’t get ‘it’ because it’s funny, we get it because it’s shoved in our faces. 

Overall, the film is worth a watch for anyone who enjoys people making fun of our government.  However, I strongly believe it to be a film that will be much funnier, and much more enjoyed years from now.

The Perfect, Raunchy, Romantic Comedy

My review of Forgetting Sarah Marshall may end up being just a bit biased.  I love the film, in its entirety, and sincerely think it might be one of my favorite comedies.  Ever.  However, FGM also happens to be a film which I saw on a first date.  A first date that eventually led to an engagement.  An engagement which was brutally called off on my birthday.  So, seeing as the film is about the cruelty of breakups, I relate to it.  A lot.  I loved it the first time I saw it, and after what I’ve been through, I love it that much more.

The film is the story of Peter Bretter’s (Jason Segel) breakup with rising television star Sarah Marshall (Kristen Bell).  After five years of being together, Marshall comes home to announce that she has moved on to a new man, Aldous Snow (Russel Brand).  Peter finds himself stuck in a world consisting of nothing but memories of the relationship and is talked into taking a vacation by his step-brother Bill (Brian Better).  Peter recalls Marshall’s favorite spot in Hawaii and heads there for a week long escape.  But, as luck would have it, Marshall also happens to be visiting the same resort.  Peter spends the week trying to get over his past, make new friends, and cope.  He finds it difficult; however, when sharing the same resort as the person he’s trying to forget.

Jason Segel wrote the screenplay and plays Peter to perfection.  There’s not one moment in the movie where you doubt his sincerity for what is going on.  His conflict with Marshall is driven that much more by the beautiful front desk clerk, Rachel Jansen (Mila Kunis).  You can tell that both Segel and Kunis understand their characters and as such there is plenty of chemistry between the two.  In a film where character and relationships are so crucial, these two nail it.

I’ve never really been a fan of Ms. Bell, but she works perfectly here as the annoying, controlling, and mostly pathetic ex.  In fact, between this film and her role on the television show Heroes, she’s really locked down the role of ‘annoying’.  There are a few fun pop-up characters here as well, including the infamous Paul Rudd as a surfer-dude resort employee, Jonah Hill as a hostest/waiter, and Jack McBrayer as a loosely confused newlywed. 

Whether you’re in the mood for a comedy, or have just recently been dumped, Forgetting Sarah Marshall is an ideal choice.  

Not Much Happening Here...

Word got out pretty early on this latest M. Night Shyamalan stinker that it was, well, yet another stinker.  I read the script about a year or so before it was released and was shocked to see what Shyamalan was up to, but was even more shocked when it got released.  For those of you that don’t remember, this was the script that even Shyamalan had a hard time shopping.  Anywhere.

The movie starts out with a girl in Central Park stabbing herself through the neck with an incredibly sharp hairpin.  It was as if Shyamalan went out of his way to let you know this wouldn’t be the typical ‘M. Night’ flick; his first with an ‘R’ rating.  Things move quickly to Elliot Moore’s(Mark Wahlberg) science class, where we’re given a few attempts at humor before the ‘fear’ stage is set: there appears to be a terrorist chemical attack on Central Park and the police/news fear how bad the situation may be.  The chemical appears to be getting people to kill themselves.  Yeah.  It’s a chemical which makes you commit suicide….

Let’s be honest, at least the idea is original.  Shyamalan attempts something new by making the audience fearful of someone with a gun; not because they may use it, but because they will use it on themselves.  And if they do that, then the chemical is near you.  Which means you may be next.  Admittedly, that’s a bit freaky. 

Moore snatches up his best friend Julian (John Leguizamo), his wife Alma (Zooey Deschanel), and Julian’s daughter Jess and they make a break for it via train.  The plan is to head West, away from the attack.  The train loses contact “with everyone” and the operators stop it at a small town in Philly.  From there, it’s essentially every man for himself, with Moore, the science teacher, ultimately having to outwit the situation.

The film is essentially about starting over.  Damage has been done both to the world and to the Moore’s marriage, and as the characters set off to find safety, both Elliot and Alma spend their time together trying to straighten out their lives.  The main problem, obviously, resides in the fact that we don’t care.  There’s a scene where the train they’re on is traveling across a bridge on its way to the next city.  When I saw this, my instant thought was ‘wow, it’d be amazing if this train stops on this bridge, they tell everyone they lost contact, and the rest of the movie deals with the emotional and psychological drama about being stuck in the middle of nowhere, with no communication, and not knowing whether to go forward or to go back’.  Think 12 Angry Men without the trial.  But, alas, it doesn’t.  In fact, the ideas that the movie brings up are never truly developed.

I feel like Shyamalan was on the right path here, honestly, but it seems he got a bit distracted somewhere.  It’s as if he continually tries for his films to have some bigger, broader message rather than just focusing on being entertaining.  The movie is certainly watchable, even with lines of dialogue like ‘cheese and crackers’ being uttered in response to something bad happening.  If anything, you watch wanting to know how it ends (and I will say this, the ending is by far the weakest out of all of Shyamalan’s efforts). 

Overall, the movie is a disappointment, but not painful to sit through.  If you’re a fan of Wahlberg, you’ll enjoy him here.  Zooey seems to be acting like someone else throughout the film and I’m not sure what sparked her sudden change in acting styles, though it’s safe to say that hopefully she’ll revert soon.  There are certainly far better horror films out there, and certainly more entertaining Shyamalan flicks. 

I’d honestly like to end this review with an ‘it could be worse’, but, I’m really not sure how.

Worst Film of the Year

For the first time since I began watching films as a child, I am completely speechless.  I have absolutely no idea what it was I just witnessed, but it was not cinema.  It couldn’t have been.  I can’t even review it.  I’m quite confident that I’ll forget it entirely within the next hour of my life, and I hope the same for anyone else unfortunate enough to have watched it.

Adam Sandler has managed to create something worse than Little Nicky.  And I’m a fan of Little Nicky.  But You Don’t Mess With the Zohan is such a mess it can’t even be considered a movie.  It’s not trash.  It’s not art.  And it’s certainly not entertaining. 

Let me describe what happens within the first twenty minutes of the film.  Adam Sandler (the Zohan) arrives at a beach.  He interrupts a game of hacky sack by playing in; a scene when ends with Sandler catching the sack between his butt cheeks, blinking at a female observer, then ‘shooting’ it back up into the game.  Apparently, this teaches us that ‘you don’t mess with the zohan’.

The next scene involves him playing tug of war.  He’s by himself, while a female rides on his shoulders, and pulling against three or four grown, muscular men.  He, of course, wins without difficulty.

We flash to later, Sandler is cooking on the beach, naked, while his male friend and three females all dance and try to get him to stop.  He says he can’t, that he’s busy cooking.  They mock him for cooking, so he responds by ‘discoing’, something I can only describe as shaking his manhood back and forth.  He goes back to cooking, tossing fish onto plates at a nearby table, but not before, you guessed it, catching one between his butt cheeks while on all fours.  That’s right.

Sandler is then picked up by a military helicopter and as he’s taken away from the party, he dances on the side of it.  No lie.

Back at the base, in what was literally the only tolerable scene in the first twenty minutes, Sandler’s informed that a terrorist named The Phantom (Sandler friend John Turturro) has escaped.  Sandler ends up volunteering to go in with two other soldiers to capture the Phantom.

There’s a scene where he cries about wanting to cut hair, and another where he tells his parents about wanting to cut hair.  They laugh.  We don’t.

Then we cut to the mission.  He heads in, mostly alone, in what looks to be something out of The Bourne franchise.  Then, without real reason, the Zohan goes flying through the air, sideways, and kicks a terrorist through a wall.  Then a second one.  He’s held at gunpoint, to which he responds by turning around and dissembling the gun before the terrorist has a chance to fire.  Later, he’s approaching another terrorist who shoots at him.  He dodges the first bullet, catches the second one between his fingers, then catches the third in his nostril.  You read that right.

Then he finds the Phantom, who’s standing, for reasons not explained, upside down on a ceiling.  Sandler chases him out into the ocean, where the two argue about whether or not they can feel pain.  Phantom grabs a fish (piranha?) from the water and attaches it to his neck as proof that he can’t be hurt.  Sandler removes the fish and drops it down his pants.  Again, you read that right.  The Phantom even sneaks a peak down there to make sure what he thinks is happening is happening.  It is.

Phantom then removes a hand grenade and the two characters remove paddles from somewhere on their bodies and begin hitting the grenade back and forth as if playing ping pong.  Sandler lobs it up into the air, it explodes in the ocean, and Sandler remains hidden underwater; faking his death so he can escape to America.

And it was here that I hit the stop button, so I could escape this holy mess.  As I said in the beginning, I have no idea what I just witnessed. 

As a fan of Sandler, I’m embarrassed.  I never thought I’d say this, but maybe he should stick to things like Spanglish and Punch Drunk Love.  Or maybe he just needs to associate himself with a director who won’t have him catching things in his butt. 

Maybe.

Go, Speed, Go

The Wachowski’s Speed Racer is most certainly the best children’s film of the last fifteen years.  It is Charlie and the Chocolate Factory on crack.  The original, not that Burton junk.  It manages to grab every single element a child could enjoy and slam it all into a two hour, action packed, sugar addicted, cartoony extravaganza that rivals almost every children’s film that has come before it.  In fact, it’s so good, that it makes every other children’s cartoon-show-turned-film look dense in comparison.  Speed Racer is the perfect example of a cartoon-turned-live-action.  And all of this is a very, very good thing.

First of all, you don’t have to be a fan (or even that knowledgable) of the Speed Racer cartoon to appreciate the movie.  In fact, it’s obvious that the Wachowski’s went out of their way to make sure this was the case.  Speed Racer (Emile Hirsch) is the middle child in a family who are dedicated to racing.  His father owns a small-time racing garage and his older brother Rex was killed during a racing event several years prior.  Now Speed, who looked up to Rex and obsessed about car racing since he was younger, aims to fill the void his brother left behind by becoming the best racer in the world.  And the movie starts off with him well on his way.  Speed also has a younger brother, Spritle, who happens to be best friends with the family’s pet monkey, Chim Chim. 

The film starts with Speed making an amazing appearance during a highly publicized race which sparks a league of sponsors aiming to make him apart of their team.  But as Speed deals with more sponsors and race celebrities, he quickly figures out that there’s much about the racing world he dislikes.  And like his older brother Rex, he aims to fix it.

I really can’t speak more highly of this film.  Hirsch falls perfectly into the role of Speed, a young man conflicted by what his future holds for him.  While he knows he is on the rise to fame and fortune, he’s also smart enough to realize that some things which seem too good to be true are.  Pops Racer (John Goodman) spends his time being the typically overprotective father when it comes to the dangerous sport they partake in.  He’s been around the block a few times and he’s all the wiser for it.  Mom Racer (Susan Sarandon) plays the ideal mother, obsessed with the safety of her children first, yet always encouraging and pushing to bring out their best.  One might think that Chim Chim would be a horrible fit within this cartoon/real world realm, but that notion couldn’t be more wrong.  It may be an odd comparison, but Chim Chim is handled the way Jar Jar Binks should have been handled.  He’s funny at the right times, not distracting at all, and he genuinely makes you smile.  Unbelievably there’s a monkey on the screen with roughly thirty minutes of screen time and not one fart joke.  Take that George Lucas.

I’m not sure I could express the visuals of this film with words that would come anywhere close to describing what it is like to watch it.  I’ve never done acid, but I’m pretty sure after multiple viewings of this I’ve got a good idea of what it would be like. 

The only minor negative to mention would be watching it on your home entertainment setup.  I’m just not sure that even a 60” television would do this film justice.  I imagine that would be like trying to watch The Matrix on a 14” monitor.  You will miss so many important details that the Wachoski’s put into each and every shot.  They went out of their way to make you feel like you’re apart of the race.  The colors and visuals are enough to entertain a child and watching them on a ‘small’ screen won’t do them justice. 

Think back to the first time you saw the original Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.  Think back to how, as a kid, you felt when it was over.  How you wanted to buy all those wonderful candies.  How you wanted to win a golden ticket of your own.  How you would have killed to find a factory half as amazing as Wonka’s.  Speed Racer brings back each and every one of those feelings.  You’ll be dying to drive a car like the Mach 5.  You’ll be giddy to rewatch each race/crash.  And you’ll be jumping up and down to watch Speed do what he does best. 

This is one acid trip you’ll want to take.

Tell Everyone You Know

Foreign films, believe it or not, aren’t for everyone.  Sadly, some of the greatest pieces of cinema that I have ever witnessed include subtitles, which restrict certain people from ever taking the time to view them.  Whether the complaint falls with having to read rather than watch, or simply not being able to follow everything on screen while reading at the same time, I’ve come to learn that certain folks just don’t appreciate the experience. 

Whatever your grievances may be with foreign films, I implore you to spend some time with Tell No One.    It is the simple story of two childhood friends (Alex and Margot) who fall in love, marry, and enjoy years of marriage until, while visiting their memorable childhood swimming grounds, Margot is murdered.  Alex, upon hearing a struggle, runs to her rescue, only to get knocked unconscious by the attackers.  We flash forward eight years later to find Alex cleared of all possible connections with the murder, and he now lives his life as best he can although never forgetting (and desperately missing) his precious Margot.  All seems as well as can be until the day he receives an anonymous email from someone linking him to a web cam of a public street which shows a woman, visibly identical to Margot, pass underneath, turn, and smile for the camera.  This event sets up this deep, riveting, and emotional thriller, as Alex dives headfirst into the mystery of his wife’s murder and seemingly sudden (and unbelievable) reappearance. 

As far as thrillers go, Tell No One is very different from what American audiences are accustomed to.  Alex is a real human being with real problems and emotions.  He has a real job and lives a real life.  The characters are written so beautifully real that one can’t help becoming emotionally attached to the story.  You want Alex to find answers because the situation is incredibly plausible.  This isn’t a Hollywood-ized thriller.  This isn’t Tom Cruise running around trying to outsmart the villain.  And that’s a beautiful thing to witness. 

In fact, the only gripe I had with the film comes with the technology aspects.  So much of the film is written in the world of believability that the shortcuts they take when it comes to computers, internet, and email stand out.  While I’m sure there could have been a clever way for the emails to arrive from an unknown sender, the film takes the easy way out and associates them from ‘anonymous@unknown.org’ or something similar.  Everything else, from the detective work to the action is incredibly realistic and stylishly done.  Due to the realistic sense of a certain chase scene across heavy traffic, audience members can’t help but feel nervous as they watch the action unfold in one of the most intense car chase/crash scenes I’ve ever seen filmed.

Filming merits aside, the film would be nothing if it weren’t for Francois Cluzet’s portrayal of Alex.  He brings so much life to the character that one can’t help but instantly wish him success while at the same time feeling an uncomfortable amount of tension as the story unfolds.  So much of the script rests on Cluzet’s shoulders and he nails it.  We have to believe that Alex loves his wife desperately, we have to believe that he is willing to do anything for her, and we have to believe that he’s as confused as we are on what is going on.  And, as I said, he nails it. 

So cast aside whatever reservations you may have in regards to foreign films and by all means, enjoy Tell No One.  The mere fact that it’s nothing like an American-styled ‘thriller’ should serve as some motivation and if that isn’t enough for you, then maybe you’d be better off popping a copy of Taking Lives into your DVD player.  To each their own I guess.

Horror, This is Not

In fact, The Strangers is so bad, one can’t even categorize it as being a horror film. It’s not scary, it’s not original, and it doesn’t spend a lot of time making sense; not that many horror films do, mind you. Instead, what we’re given is a half-hearted attempt at being scary from a director/writer who clearly left intelligence behind in favor of dated, cheap-thrill tactics. It’s hard to be scared of three young people terrorizing two grown adults who have the mental capacity of pieces of wood.

Plot: After a friend’s wedding ceremony, Kristen McKay (Liv Tyler) and James Hoyt (Scott Speedman) drive to the Hoyt family vacation home. It’s the middle of the night and things have turned sour and awkward for the two, as McKay and Hoyt aren’t seeing eye-to-eye on personal, relationship matters. Shortly after arriving, a young girl knocks at the front door and asks for ‘Tanner’. After being told she has the wrong home, she appears to leave. Needless to say, if you’ve seen the trailers, the couple spend the next few hours being ‘terrorized’ by an unlikely trio.

This review will read more like a rant, as sitting through this film was like being punished for an unspeakable sin. In fact, it will instead be composed of questions one can’t help but ask while watching this film. Why do vacation homes not have peep holes on the front doors? Regardless of a nicotine addiction, who goes out to buy cigarettes in the middle of the woods at four in the morning? When one returns and finds their girlfriend with a cut hand and becoming hysterical, would you a)attend to the wound even though you’re not a doctor b)call her a liar and tell her she imagined it or c)take her to the doctor? If you answered both A and B, you will love The Strangers.

The film is so awful, that in one scene, after finally admitting that someone is trying to get in the house, Hoyt takes the appropriate steps and arms himself with a shotgun. He loads it, though he admits he’s never gone hunting with his father. He says, “I’ll shoot anyone who tries to come into this home”. And what do you think happens, moments later, when an ax wielding youth attempts to break through the front door? Hoyt puts the shotgun down and tries to push a bookcase instead to block the doors. THEN he returns for the gun. THEN he fires. And of course, misses his chance to protect himself and McKay. And if you’re questioning his ability to use the gun, don’t worry, moments later he accidentally kills his best friend with a blast to the face in one of the worst scenes ever filmed.

Here’s a tip to anyone who goes to pick up your friend in the middle of nowhere who’s not answering their cell phone: when you arrive at their house, and the car is destroyed and the front door is cut in half, it might be a good idea to call for help on your cell phone before entering. And if you do enter, try calling out the person’s name you’re looking for. Or even asking, ‘Is anyone home?”. Speaking from experience, it just seems downright stupid to enter the home blindly and walk around looking at all the damage that’s been done. Of course, someone this stupid may just deserve eating a mouthful of buckshot.

The acting, what little there was of it, is ok. Tyler spends most of her time scream-whispering while Speedman spends most of his time walking around seemingly shocked by the scenario. But so little of what these characters do makes any sense, that it’s hard to truly judge the acting taking place. It’s frightening enough that a film this stupid was made, but moreso that an actress such as Tyler followed blindly without, apparently, interjecting and questioning some of the decisions the characters were making.

The director, Bryan Bertino, also happens to be the writer, leaving little positive to say about his talents behind the camera or with a pen and paper. Some of the scenes are spooky, he deserves that credit, but most of it is stolen from another film or written with such forced writing that the idiocy of it leaves you scratching your head rather than scared.

It was announced that a sequel is in the works, so apparently leaving your mask behind with hair follicles won’t leave DNA evidence in the realm in which this movie takes place. Not to mention none of the killers were wearing gloves, so, fingerprints are also apparently unheard of.

Not Bad, but Not Good Either

To say that Matthew McConaughey and Kate Hudson have struck gold before would be an understatement. The two last paired up in a different kind of romantic comedy, ‘How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days’, a film which went on to gross over $100,000,000 domestically back in 2003. Repairing the two would seem like Hollywood gold, yet even these two aren’t enough to save this sinking ship of a film.

Plot: Benjamin Finnagin (McConaughey) is a down-on-his-luck loser who happens to be obsessed with treasure hunting. His wife, Tess Finnagin (Hudson) has grown tired of his neurotic ways and has filed for divorce. The two are on their way to becoming a statistic until Benjamin explains that he’s made a minor discovery in their most recent hunt, which has been going on for over eight years. The ‘proof’ isn’t enough to convince Tess to continue the search, and she leaves Benjamin behind while going back to her day job working for Nigel Honeycutt (Donald Sutherland), a rich entrepaneur who happens to be in town planning a vacation with his daughter, Gemma (Alexis Dziena). Nigel happens to own a yacht and has plenty of money to throw around; news that is music to Benjamin’s ears. After convincing Nigel to help the just-divorced duo search for lost gold, adventure sets sail in this somewhat entertaining, yet mildly cheesy, film.

The film offers a variety of laughs throughout, and for that reason it’s not a total failure as a whole. McConaughey and Hudson are generally entertaining and it is somewhat fun to watch the two bicker back and forth. The film doesn’t come close to achieving the romantic offset one will find in films like ‘Jewel of the Nile’, but the characters are interesting enough that it’s forgivable. Both McConaughey and Hudson do their best with what little is written for them, which generally feels like the intention. Certain scenes feel as if someone stood off-camera and thought ‘let’s just let these two do what they do and we’ll keep the cameras rolling’. If you’re honestly just looking for a slightly fun, slightly entertaining, mildly amusing romantic comedy, then these two will almost always represent a safe bet.

The directing of the film is about typical with what one would expect for a romantic comedy. Which, in all honesty, isn’t that surprising given director Andy Tennet’s resume which includes films like ‘Hitch’, ‘Sweet Home Alabama’, and’ Fools Rush In’. The adventure scenes are done surprising well, considering that Tennet seems to have no experience in that genre whatsoever. The scenes which fail drastically tend to be any involving character emotions. Tennet may be good at knowing how to film a romantic laugh, but understanding and valuing a character’s true emotions he seems to fail at. Greatly. There is no real depth to any of these characters, with the aside of what we’re given as direct dialogue. In the hands of a more able director, the film could have struck the right chord or two and elevated it past simpleminded comedic laughs.

Where the film really fails is in the oddity of certain characters. It’s as if screenwriters John Clafin and Daniel Zelman (a writing pair who wrote ‘They Nest’ and ‘Anacondas 2’) are so far out of their element here that they created shells of potential characters that are never truly fleshed out. Of particular note would be Bigg Bunny (Kevin Hart), a world famous rapper who happens to own the island the film takes place on. Why does the rapper own the island? Why does he keep employing adventure hunters to search for lost gold? The joke here is completely lost, if there was one, and the character serves no purpose other than to play the villain. Bunny is also one of the only three African Americans in the film, the other two being his dimwit partners in crime (Malcolm Jamal-Warner and Brian Hooks). Watching these three act like idiots felt like watching an entire race being degraded back an entire generation. And why was Jamal-Warner’s character Jamaican? Surely the once-star of The Cosby Show has better offers out there. Then there’s Donald Sutherland, who is either extremely too old to still be acting or had died years ago and came back from the afterlife to do this film. Sutherland never seems to know what’s going on in the film and has this look in his eye when speaking as if he’s not quite sure he even knows who he’s talking to. Alexis Dziena is twenty-four year old actress playing a character who dresses like a twenty-one year old and acts like a fourteen year old. Though her age is never quite confirmed, it was very distracting and confusing to understand her character and her character’s motives. She certainly seems interested in Benjamin, but it’s completely unclear whether or not she’s a young sapling who has a growing crush on an older man, or if she’s just an adult idiot. The fact that her character is so unclear should be a hint as to exactly how odd the film is.

There are certainly far worse ways to spend an hour and forty minutes and if you don’t mind a bit of silliness, confusion, and slight racism, then there is fun to be had here. However, most will probably expect more from the Hudson-McConaughey pair.

Unbelievable and Unbelievably Silly

Tropic Thunder has to be one of the silliest movies I can recall seeing in a long, long time. It’s not a perfect film, by any means, with several scenes just a little too odd to be genuinely funny yet the film does have many highlights which will keep you chuckling long after you’ve left the theater.

Plot: There’s not a lot of space to waste here regarding the plot; if you’ve managed to see a trailer for this then you’ve managed to see the entire plot. A small group of actors consisting of Robert Downey Jr, Ben Stiller, Jack Black, Jay Baruchel, and Brandon T. Jackson get dropped off in the middle of a Vietnam jungle where they believe they’re filming one of the most expensive action films based on the book Tropic Thunder, written by Four Leaf Tayback (Nick Nolte). Shortly after getting dropped off by their director, Damien (Steve Coogan), he gets killed and the actors are left to survive the jungle on their own, all the while thinking they’re still filming an action flick. Things become a bit too realistic for the group, especially once they come into contact with a drug smuggling operation which mistake the realistically dressed actors as actual American military or D.E.A. and become obsessed with killing them rather than surrendering.

As you may have been able to guess from the trailers, Robert Downey Jr. steals the show here, with almost every word of his dialogue being hysterical and his delivery even more so. In fact, he overshadows the others so badly that whenever he’s not on screen, you’re glued to your seat anxiously awaiting his return. Robert Downey Jr. has been knocking it out of the park this summer and Tropic Thunder simply adds to his astounding track record. Ben Stiller, as always, seems to try really hard yet can never actually achieve any real acting. He sold us all in There’s Something About Mary because he was perfectly casted in the role. Unfortunately for us, Stiller can’t actually act and we’ve been stuck dealing with his same comedic shtick for over ten years now. At least, to his credit, with Tropic Thunder, he’s almost making fun of himself by playing an actor who just can’t act. Which, ironically enough, isn’t a stretch for Stiller. Maybe if he rewatches Permanent Midnight enough he’ll remember what it’s like to truly dive into a role. Maybe. Jack Black is a complete waste here, that is, until the third act. Once the group decides to truly ‘act’, Black’s comedic prowess kicks in and he’s in full comedic gear. In fact, I can’t think of a film where Black’s been funnier, though it is saddening that it had to wait until the film was nearly over to happen. Both Jay Baruchel and Brandon T. Jackson serve up pleasantly surprising comedic performances and both give their best performances to date as well. Jay has struggled for a long time to find himself in the film world and oddly enough, he found it at the directing hands of Ben Stiller. If Jay continues to stick to roles where he isn’t required to act like an uneducated sapling, he’ll be advancing his career by leaps and bounds. Nick Nolte and Danny McBride both have significant roles here, with both of them playing off one another’s stupidity when it comes to laughs. It was nice to see McBride’s return to funny-man after his disappearing minor role in Pineapple Express. More of McBride is never, ever, a bad thing. And of course, one can’t write a review of Tropic Thunder without mentioning the two ‘cameos’ of Tom Cruise and Matthew McConaughey. Tom Cruise seemed to be having a lot of fun here, but it was kind of hard to tell just how much underneath all the makeup he was wearing. He overplays his role of Les Grossman to perfection, but one has to question exactly why Tom is here. He’s hidden, the character’s obnoxious, and the profanity coming out of his mouth is something unheard of for Cruise. While it’s good to see an actor take a turn trying something they haven’t really done before, but here it’s just unclear what the real joke is. Is it funny because he’s an ugly, pathetic looking man who yells and cusses a lot? Or is it funny because it’s Tom Cruise playing him. I’d like to think Cruise can come up with a much better way to show off his comedic side. As for McConaughey, let’s just say his lines would have been much, much better hand they come from Owen Wilson instead. Though everyone is quite happy that Wilson is recovering and still with us, it is sad to see a role written specifically for him go to someone else. Especially when it went to someone who lacks the appropriate comedic abilities to do the part justice.

Stiller’s directing is loads better than his performance, and the only thing the film really suffers from is too many jokes missing their marks. The killing of an unseen wild animal to survive works flawlessly, yet jokes like character’s names (Tug Speedman, Les Grossman, Alpa Chino, etc) end up being more distracting than funny. And then there’s also the oddity of certain scenes (typical of Stillers’ career as of late) which hamper the fun. The joke about the adopted son fall flat as does the Simple Jack ongoing joke. While the appropriate activist groups are upset over certain word usage going on in the film, it is a bit more understanding considering the joke goes on for far too long (the entire film). The message the film sends may be clear that celebrities should stop acting as mentally handicapped individuals, but again, if someone could just whisper into Stiller’s ear that ‘less-is-more’ the film would have been vastly better.

The film is hilarious and one owes it to oneself to see it. Make sure to show up early though, as the ‘fake’ trailers before are something not to be missed.

A Completely Unnecessary Sequel

The original War Games was released in 1983 and was a true commentary on the vast growing world of computers and the danger in which they could create if left to make vital military decisions on their own. That film aims at telling just how easy it could be for anyone, including a gifted high school student, to overtake government computer systems and put them inadvertently at war with a foreign country. It was truly an interesting, yet horrifying, look at the direction our country could have been headed. War Games: The Dead Code has absolutely no message to speak of, nor does it come anywhere close to being anything but a ploy at cashing in on the latest craze of releasing unnecessary sequels.

Plot: Will Farmer (Matt Lanter) is a high school student who made a promise to his mother that his days of computer hacking were mostly over. Though still allowed to access a computer, he’s only put a hold on his hacking routines. Will now spends his time helping his neighbor with computer problems and staying up late playing computer games with his best friend Dennis Nichols (Nicolas Wright). However, after agreeing to fix his neighbors computer and stumbling onto a scheme by the neighbors brother to exchange large sums of money via wire transfers and online banking, Dennis convinces Will to put some of that ‘fake’ money to good use. Annie D’Mateo (Amanda Walsh) has caught Will’s eye and plans to attend a trip with the school’s chess team. If Will can earn $500, he can go on the trip as well. Dennis is able to get Will to ‘wager’ $5,000 from the bank account on a computer game (operated by the evil computer R.I.P.L.E.Y) which simulates real-world war strategies. Will easily breaks through the computer game (called The Dead Code) and eventually wins by asking his mother for help in regards to bio-terror attack possibilities. After beating R.I.P.L.E.Y at the game, she (the computer) believes Will to be a threat and becomes obsessed (to say the least) with hunting him down and bringing the apparent terrorist to justice. Will (and eventually Annie, of course) spend the remaining part of the film trying to escape the computer and put an end to being accused of terrorist activities.

As you can see, the plot is a bit of a stretch. Though elements of the film are very well down, thanks to director Stuart Gillard, the entity as a whole is very lacking of anything remotely intelligent, or fun for that matter. There are even a few surprise cameos by characters thought long-forgotten, with most of them serving as useless attempts to bring a connection between this and the original. The original concept of the first film works so well because the technology was underdeveloped and could have reasonably been taking advantage of by intelligent hackers, even if Brodericks’ character had done so unknowingly. In War Games: The Dead Code, everything is so farfetched that it makes films with serious technology mis-uses (ie, Live Free or Die Hard) look brilliant.

Both Matt Lanter and Annie Walsh are completely useless here. There just isn’t another talent between the two of them to come close to saving this mess of a film. Besides being a pointless film, there are far too many plot holes and horrid dialogue that even an actor of Forrest Whitaker’s caliber wouldn’t have been able to redeem this.

When the main villain in your film is an advanced computer bent on controlling the world, it’s hard for any actor to redeem the film. R.I.P.L.E.Y. ends up being the worst part of the movie, as her intentions and actions are so completely ridiculous. In the original, Joshua simply held computer launch codes which gave him access for launching warheads once establishing that America was under attack. That idea is frightening enough and to expand R.I.P.L.E.Y. into a super computer with no limitations just seems silly. There’s nothing too frightening about a computer that can do everything. It’s just not possible and lacks suspense completely. Not to mention the concept of tracking down terrorism by having it play computer games. Because, you know, the most harden terrorist spend their time playing war scenarios via computer programs. Of course….

Flawed, Yet Really, Really Funny

Pineapple Express is a confusing blend of action, humor, drugs, and homage. There isn’t a simple way to spread word about this movie. It works strongly as an action/comedy film, yet there is so much homage going on that it’s nearly impossible to watch it straight through without being distracted by subtle nods-of-the-head to others which have come before. Most of these work very well and will garner even more laughs on further viewings, but it is arguable that the film could have been better had it spent more running time on being genuine rather than having so many scenes of reverence.

Plot: Dale Denton (Seth Rogan) is a process server who spends his free time dating underage women and smoking pot. A lot. He’d rather be a talk-radio disc-jockey than serving losers with subpoenas, but the lack of a real job means he’s able to spend his free time doing what he enjoys most: pot. Saul Silver (James Franco) is Dale’s dealer, and as the story begins Dale buys some prime product from Saul by the name of Pineapple Express; a product that Saul happens to be the only dealer in the area with it. After leaving Saul’s to serve a subpoena to Ted Jones (Gary Cole), who also happens to be ‘the man’ to Saul’s supplier Red (Danny McBride), Dale witnesses Ted and a female cop (Rosie Perez) kill a man inside Ted’s residence. Dale flees the scene and heads to Saul’s, but not before dropping a lit bit of Pineapple Express. Conveniently, Ted Jones finds the doobie, recognizes it as the ‘dopest dope you’ll ever smoke’, and spends the rest of the movie sending his hired goons to kill Saul and Dale.

The real hit of the film are Seth Rogan and James Franco. These two are clearly enjoying themselves (Rogan maybe more than Franco) and they’re perfect in their roles here. It may, of course, help that Rogan and pal Evan Goldberg were both writers on the project. Rogan has perfected his craft of acting like a 20something year old slacker and Franco has taken his pot-consuming Daniel Desario (his role from the infamous Freaks and Geeks) character up a notch by turning him into a fun and lovable, if not a little slow, drug dealer. The pair creates just about every memorable scene in the film, with the exception of a fight between the duo and Danny McBride. Speaking of McBride, it’s a shame how much his talent is wasted in this film. His character becomes a joke of too many clichés, never truly edging out of an in-joke and into the actual movie. While it’s always good to see McBride, the lack of anything genuinely funny happening with his character is truly disappointing. Gary Cole does manage to overact a bit in the few small scenes he occupies while it was very satisfying to watch Rosie Perez get what she’s deserved since the film White Men Can’t Jump.

In fact, the only true flaw with the film rests with the director, David Gordon Green, who spends the majority of the film trying to convince us that he belongs behind the camera. Too many scenes feel incomplete, with the editing and transition leaving the viewer feeling a bit disoriented. Take, for example, the resolution (if one can call it that) of Dale’s girlfriend. They have a fight, decide to end things, then later reconnect for both parties to apologize and beg the other’s forgiveness. Immediately afterwards, his girlfriend drops the ‘I think we should get married’ line, and Dale changes attitudes completely, calls her crazy and hangs up the phone. The joke isn’t Dale’s immediate change in attitude and behavior. It’s not supposed to be funny that one minute he wants her and as soon as she mentions marriage, he doesn’t. It’s in the parody of relationships in other movies. In the typical romantic comedy, that’s how things work out. They fight, it looks devastating, yet they work it out eventually. But Pineapple Express isn’t your typical movie. The problem is, why include it at all? Jokes like this don’t matter to the story, only to the ones who realize what the real punch line is. In fact, the only joke like this that truly works is when Dale attempts to fight the bad guys late in the third act, ‘armed to the teeth’. The bad guys catch him and begin to remove all his weapons, starting with a handgun duct taped to the back of his suit coat. The joke is only funny to those who get the Die Hard reference, yet the subtly of it makes it work well. If only there had been more like these…

Pineapple Express may not be a perfect film, but it’s certainly entertaining for the full two hours of its runtime. Even if you’re not into movies about marijuana, any true product of the 1980s should have already bought their ticket just to see Rosie Perez get the beating of her life. That alone is worth the price of admission.

(On a note, the fact that I despise Rosie Perez so much is a true testament to her performance in White Men Can’t Jump. Go see it already.)

Think Talladega Nights Meets Napolean Dynomite Meets Karate

The Foot Fist Way marks Jody Hill’s first time at writing a feature film, as well as his first time directing one. It is easily one of the best comedies released in recent years, falling just shy of the greatness of recent Judd Apatow projects. It will have you giggling, it will have you laughing out loud, and it will have you smiling when you leave the theater. It is absolute silliness and manages to entertain throughout its entire runtime.

Plot: Fred Simmons (Danny McBride) appears to be a loser. He is an instructor at a lame Tae Kwan Do school where anyone and everyone is welcome; pending they put up with his childish and reckless antics long enough to learn something. Simmons finds continual struggle with registering new members for class, as well as putting up with his monogamy-challenged wife (Mary Jane Bostic). Life takes a different course for Simmons after a chance encounter with his beloved fighter, Chuck ‘The Truck’ Wallace (Ben Best). Things get complicated for Simmons, who has to decide between the life he’s lived and the ‘hobby’ he loves.

The title of this review really says it all. The Foot Fist Way is what would happen if you took the comedic style of Will Ferrell and John C Reilly and shoved it into a film with the same style as Napoleon Dynamite. It feels almost like a documentary, yet more simplistic. In a good way. Jody Hill has obviously spent a lot of time studying the things that make him laugh, as well as the reasons why, and his work here behind the camera (as well as in the film) provide the viewer with one of the most memorable comedies to date. Hill makes it a pure pleasure watching McBride give an onslaught of verbal abuses. Every single mistake McBride makes will have you laughing, yet the viewer is left questioning just how intelligent McBride truly is. Is he really a master of Tae Kwan Do, or is he just full of himself?

Danny McBride will be remembered for his performance here. He brings life to the lovable, yet fallible character of Fred Simmons in a way that no one else could. You love Simmons like you loved Al Bundy. He’s a total loser, in every sense of the word, yet you can’t help but wish him the best. He’s a total idiot, yet you can’t help but enjoy him when he’s around. You are most certainly laughing at him, and you’re supposed to. McBride has both Pineapple Express and Land of the Lost coming up, in which his roles will be much smaller than here, yet after Foot Fist Way’s release its hard to imagine him not being offered much bigger parts. The other characters in this film serve more as a side salad to McBride’s main entre. Ben Best plays the lowlife karate expert very well, while Mary Jane Bostic’s Mrs. Simmons couldn’t be a bigger joke.

There are lines and jokes here that will make you laugh for years to come, including a small bit over ‘lil Stevie Fisher’ as well as the ‘battle of the band’ attack. McBride’s one-liners and attitude towards life are about as silly as they come and if the trailer is true, that Ferrell and Adam McKay quote this film ‘all the time’, it’s easy to see why. There’s very little wrong with this gem of a movie, with the only real weakness being the ending, or lackthereof. This will serve as an instant purchase upon its release on DVD and will certainly have you and your friends laughing during, after, and for years to come.

Nearly Perfect.....Nearly...

Many, many spoilers ahead....

I want to start this review off by stating that I am not only a huge Batman fan, but a huge fan of comics in general. I’ve had a rather extensive collection for years and while I stopped reading a lot of them after several reboots a few years back, I still manage to keep up where I can. I have my personal favorites and my top three have always been made up of Spider-man, Superman, and Batman. I grew up on these. I had daily rendezvous with their toys as a child and with their stories as an adult. I grew up looking for those hard-to-find issues, stopping in strip malls and hoping to get lucky at some random po-dunk stripshop holding weekend specials. Garage sales were a kid’s best friend when searching for old comics and comic book toys.

And while all that may sound pretty geeky, I haven’t even described the worst of my moments in pure geek-isms. During the mid-90s, the Fox television station took up residence on air and one of their attempts at locking down a solid television market included new cartoon shows. Many of you will remember the amazing X-Men series (yet to be released on DVD..legally..) and I’m sure many more will remember the Batman Animated series. To even attempt to describe this show as my favorite wouldn’t do it justice. As a bored, fourteen-year old, I would sit in front of my parents’ 27” tube in the living room and pop a VHS tape into the VCR every day at 4pm and hit record. I wanted every single episode of the Batman Animated series on tape so I could watch them over and over whenever I wanted. I would even hit stop at the start of a commercial and then record again once the commercial was over. Yes, I was a total Batman nerd.

I loved Batman Begins with every ounce of my being. To me, that film is the definitive of a comic book movie. At times it is brilliant. At others it is geeky. And in the end it is just plain cheesy. But, for those who have read their fair share of comics, this is how things go. A plan to release toxic gas into the air to intoxicate all of Gotham? Cheesy? Hell yes. But no more cheesy than a man fighting crime dressed as a giant bat. As soon as I walked out of the theater after seeing Batman Begins, I wanted to see it again. And again. I went around quoting it. I absolutely loved it.

And yet, sadly, I cannot say the same for The Dark Knight.

The Dark Knight is, as everyone else has stated, a wonderful film. This is no surprise and shouldn’t be to anyone as Christopher Nolan and crew have been knocking them out of the parks for years now. The giant, arching camera swings throughout Gotham are stunning. The majority of the action is directed in such a way that you can’t help but eat it up every chance you get. Christian Bale has crafted his Batman/Bruce Wayne in a way that no other actor ever has and if you’re not smiling whenever Wayne is on screen, there’s something wrong with you. Bale is clearly having fun in everything he does here, just as he did in Batman Begins, but in The Dark Knight he has it perfected. And of course, there is no doubt that the work Heath Ledger did will go down in history as one of the finest performances ever. And as you will see, these are also the majority of the reasons that I don’t love the film.

Plot: The Dark Knight picks up shortly after the ending of Batman Begins. Things have changed in Gotham, with copycat Batmans springing up and causing more trouble than good. A character calling himself the Joker is on the prowl, creating mischief and causing trouble among the remaining Gotham mob members. Batman and Gordon are on a much stricter work relationship now, both trusting one another completely. A new cat, Harvey Dent (Aaron Eckheart) is trying his best to stir up a hornet’s nest among the same crew that the Joker is trying to rally with. Thus, it becomes Batman’s job to stop the Joker, find out if Harvey Dent is truly as trustworthy as he seems, and of course, help save Gotham from the evil overrunning it. All of these things eventually tie into one another providing a deeply engaging and extremely terrifying look into the ‘mouth of madness’.

The movie really is a stunning work of film, from beginning to end. Visually, Nolan does here what we haven’t seen him do before. He has dropped most of his work with closeups and intense scenes with one-on-one dialogue. Nolan’s typical style has been replaced with large, sweeping views of Gotham and large, grand scale action sequences that are beautiful enough to make you sigh in relief once they’re over. Fistfights in small prison yards in foreign countries have been replaced with massive gunfights within large parking garages. The Batmobile/Tumbler tearing through a two-lane freeway is now tumbling through a four-six lane underground tunnel while bullets and rockets fire as if it was an orchestrated symphony. Nothing is small here. Everything is gigantic. Think Titanic big. Then multiply that by twenty. Nolan really outdoes himself here and it will be very interesting to see how he plans on returning with the third (and final?) installment of this franchise.

The acting is everything you’ve heard. Words can’t begin to describe just how wonderful Heath Ledger is in this. You really have to see it for yourself. I could sit here and detail exactly how he slivers the tongue in his mouth from time to time, as if he were the devil himself, and it still wouldn’t do it justice. You just have to see it. He’s not scary. He’s psychotic. Which is much worse than scary. This isn’t a character that goes bump in the night. This is a character that will murder your entire family, while you sleep, and laugh about it the whole time. He’s worse than the boogeyman, the headless horseman, or Jack the Ripper. Ledger’s Joker is in every way the murdering psychotic you’ve all grown up with from the comic books. There’s no doubt Ledger touched on something truly genius here.

Christian Bale, as mentioned earlier, creates such a convincing Batman/Bruce Wayne that another actor should never be allowed to step into the suit. Bale owns this role. Take the franchise in the direction of Batman Beyond if you have to, but leave Batman/Wayne to Bale. He deserves them. While Aaron Eckhart wasn’t Nolan’s first decision to be Harvey Dent (see Matt Damon), I’d have to argue that things worked out pretty darn well. Eckhart finally gets his chance to show the world what he’s made of. Eckhart’s had a questionable career, with films like No Reservations, The Wicker Man, and The Core not helping to bring light to his work done in films like Thank You for Smoking. Here, he owns Dent and you never doubt that this ‘White Knight” truly cares about the city he’s trying so hard to redeem. Eckhart’s change at the end of the film is magical as well, and it also adds to his showcase as an actor that he can credibly accomplish both sides of this two-sided character. Maggie Gyllenhaal is, as always, Maggie Gyllenhaal. Her acting nods are about the same in every film she’s done and she puts great life into the character of Rachel Dawes. Something that the awful Mrs. Cruise couldn’t possibly accomplish.

But with as great as the acting, directing, and writing might be, there are just too many things wrong with this film that keep it from achieving the legendary status of Batman Begins. There are far too many things that never get explained. Take the opening of the film for example. There’s some setup going on, there’s something going on with the mob, but why is Scarecrow there? What’s his purpose? How long does it take a multi-billionaire to reconstruct a mansion? How can they build batsuits and underground tunnels so quickly, yet, they’re stuck using a weird hideout for all their work means. While it’s much harder to follow a batmobile as it travels through the woods outside of Wayne Manor, then hides among an underground cave just outside, how hard is it to follow a guy wearing a cape who enters into an empty storage container? Why did the party scene end with Batman jumping out a window? What happened to the Joker? Why introduce Harvey Dent as Two-Face if you’re going to kill him less than forty minutes later? Why hire a new actress to replace one that didn’t want to reprise her role when you’re just going to kill her off? What happened to the Joker at the end of the movie? The first time we see Batman capture him, it was because the Joker _wanted_ him to be captured. How do we not know this happened again? Instead, we’re left with the main villain of the film hanging from a building with absolutely no answers.

Ledger’s acting here is so incredible, but with so little information given about the character (a real origin or a real ending), why should we care about him? Yes, he’s creepy. Yes, we should be scared of him. But why? We’re never given enough information with the exception that he just wants to know who Batman is. And even this point stops getting played out after he’s arrested. Are we supposed to think he’s cool and fun, or are we supposed to think he’s pure evil in every way imaginable? We can’t know for sure, because the film doesn’t give us enough to answer the questions it raises. And while the grand, sweeping camera shots of the city of Gotham are beautiful, how many times do we need to see Batman standing on a building’s ledge? What’s the point of it, other than to showoff your new IMAX camera work? Did Harvey really die at the end? Why does a short fall ruin one man’s knees yet kills another? And that bike…..that awful, awful bike.

This is a film about sacrifice. Wayne has sacrificed his love for Rachel with his desire to be the man Gotham needs. Gordon sacrifices himself, and the emotions of his family, to help protect them. And ultimately Dent sacrifices his own image by giving in to his new one. The ending of the film has Batman sacrificing the way Gotham-ites see him, whether hero or foe, just to help restore Gotham’s faith in its officials. Yet, the film sacrifices what could have been a 100% perfect comic book film by not answering questions it raised.

Even with all the things mentioned above, The Dark Knight is still one of the best comic book movies ever made. It falls short of Batman Begins, but what comic book movie doesn’t? Rumor has it that a three hour version (or longer) exists and could make its way to BluRay at some point. Lets just hope that version answers many of the questions that this one didn’t.

A Conflicting Mess of Entertainment

I’m not a real big fan of the horror genre, in all honesty. I think my biggest hang up is that I really appreciate _good_ horror movies. Films like Session 9, Ringu, and The Exorcist rank among some of my favorites. I’m also a fan of campy horror films, like Scream, Saw, and the Nightmare on Elm Street’s. However, I have to draw the line at cheesy horror films. I’m not a fan of unnecessary blood and violence and I seem to really appreciate a horror film which takes itself seriously, aims at scaring you fundamentally, and doesn’t rely on CGI to make you think twice before falling asleep with the lights off.

And it is for these reasons that I’m still on the fence regarding The Ruins. At its core, it aims at being a sophisticated look at the emotions, turmoil, and doubt humans can go through when left alone in a horrible scenario. Scott B. Smith is a talented and gifted writer and his first novel-turned-screenplay (A Simple Plan) is easily one of my favorite films to show to those unfamiliar with it. However, he fails to bring the same realism to The Ruins that he did with the latter, and it turns this would be horror-thriller into yet another cheesy, horror film.

I don’t really think I can review this film without going into spoiler territory, so I will warn you now that if you choose to read any further, the film will be spoiled for you. Proceed at your own risk.

Plot: Four friends who are traveling through Mexico happen to meet another tourist, Mathias (played by Joe Anderson) who tells them that his brother had gone to see a temple not located on any map. Mathias is headed there the following day with his pal, Dimitri, and invites his new friends to join them. However, upon reaching the temple/ruins, they are forced to hide atop it after a local tribe kills an unsuspecting Dimitri (see; redshirt). Stuck on top of the temple, the group soon determines that because they accidentally touched giant vines that grow alongside the temple, the tribesmen are attempting to quarantine the situation. If the friends try to leave the temple, the tribesmen will kill them. If they stay on top, they will surely die. The question becomes; will the plants kill them or will they do the job themselves?

And yes, this is honestly the plot of the movie. Four friends, stuck on a temple, surrounded by killer plants and killer local tribesman. The movie fails for the same reasons that A Simple Plan succeeds: realism. You’re immediately sucked into the story of A Simple Plan; it revolves around three men who find a million dollars that appears to belong to no one. Do you keep it? Do you turn it in? What would you do? But this same realism is lost when you include killer plants as antagonist.

It’s clear that Scott B. Smith attempted to tell a similar story, but for some reason he’s included the concept of killer plants and written it as a horror story and tossed aside all forms of realism. If you’ll indulge my brief rant: there’s absolutely nothing creepy about plants that want to kill you. Especially when handled with mostly worthless CGI. It’s also conflicting when at one point in the film, two torches are made to help make the interior of the temple visible. Now, I’m no genius, but if you can use alcohol to wet an improv-torch and light it with a lighter, why can’t you set fire to the creepy plants that want to kill you? I mean, these are plants. They’re vines. They may want to eat you, but one would think that the humans could put up a pretty good fight. One would think they’d at least try.

Jonathan Tucker is, as always, the best actor among the cast. While Tucker has done quite an extensive amount of television work, his silver-screen resume is unfortunately covered in bad horror films, including the likes of Pulse and the Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake. For those who missed out on The Black Donnelly’s (with Tucker in the starring role), I highly recommend you go back and catch every minute of that hour long drama. It was certainly Tucker at his best, though he puts up a good effort here, even though he was dragged along as Jena Malone’s boyfriend. I haven’t liked a single film in which Jena Malone has had a significant lead. She constantly plays the same character in each and every one of her film roles and I’m confused as to if she’s type-casted or if she’s type-casted herself. I’m pretty confident that you could remove any character she’s ever played in a film, switch it with another role of hers, and you wouldn’t know the difference. Her one saving grace is Donne Darko, to which she also played the same exact role she’s always played. She’s been stuck as Margie Flynn since the release of Dangerous Lives of Alter Boys with no end in sight. Shawn Ashmore gives yet another mundane performance here as Eric, and he will continue to give mundane performances until a director asks for more out of him. It’s clear his role is worthless here. Every scene he occupies is a waste of time and his character has little-to-no development at all. Laura Ramsey, whose resume actually includes worse films than that of Tucker’s, gives a performance on par with his. In fact, she did so well in her role that I truly wished that her character had been switched with Malone’s in order for her and Tucker to have more screen time together.

In the end, the film is a total mess of ideas which never come together. The horror aspect of it is cheesy, the suspense scenes are a waste thanks to talentless actors, and the directing is only mediocre. There’s really no way to recommend this film, though if you’re a fan of A Simple Plan it may be worth to watch just to see how similar the storylines are. Minus the whole ‘plants-that-want-to-eat-you’. That’s just dumb.